So...I don't really know what I'm supposed to do with blogs. Maybe I'll pretend they're diary entries, except people can read them. Meh. My therapist says that I should write stuff down before I go to bed so I don't ruminate about my problems and stress. Like how I always think about what homework I didn't do that day, or what I have to do tomorrow, and sometimes randomly stuff that I did a long time ago and shouldn't matter now, but I still feel bad about it or whatever. Kara's pretty cool, and I trust her. She actually listens to me and knows what I should do, even though the result might not be good, it's good for me to do it and get it out of my head. Like how I wrote a letter to a friend a few weeks ago explaining a lot of stuff that's happened in the past 2 years and how I might've just fallen in love with him along the way and I wish I hadn't, because I just want to be friends, but it's getting in the way. So I pretty much confessed to him that I kinda like him a lot more than I'd like *ha irony*. He told me then a secret indirectly by means of our best friend at the Britney Spears concert and I had a panic attack. You know, it wasn't such a huge secret for a normal person, and most people basically guessed it, but I didn't know. I feel like a major dork. And now I just realized that I have to type up an outline for my English final due tomorrow. They're loading us with so much busy work but we only have 8 days of actual school, then 3 of exams. Fun stuff. We have to turn in our second optional draft for our English final on Friday and it was assigned today (Tuesday) and we have something due every day this week, like a mini-paper. I can feel the stress coming back on. I procrastinated for the past 3-4 hours watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy and starting this, and editing my itunes. Great. I have marching band auditions this week. We had to memorize our fight song for today and play it individually. I hit every note but the tone towards the end was a little shakey and I even said "Ew" when I was done. Tomorrow morning are our actual marching auditions where we have to march some number of 8ths forwards, 4 different turns, show high leg lift (which I haven't practiced much), do instrument ups and downs, and I think on Thursday or Friday have our parade song memorized. We got it yesterday. This is so stressful. I feel like I can't practice here because my dad doesn't really like it when I play. A flute can hurt someone's ears. It especially bothers my cat, which we adopted from our band director in October. 7 months later she doesn't really have a name still. We just call her "Cat".
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